Hm, I suppose it's about time I used this; I hear it fosters inter-departmental cohesion or something according to those lines. Are we advertising for this brand of journal?

I believe an introduction would be in order, then. Hello, everyone; I'm Lenne - some of you may have seen me around for the past two weeks. If you happened to be the one I accidentally spilled coffee on yesterday, I'm truly sorry. That said, I'm one of the writers for this paper, and it's a pleasure to meet all of you.


Ah, and a word. If the artiste Jordan Simms wishes for an exclusive one-on-one interview, do remember to bring a bottle of mace along, or wear a pair of sturdy boots? It'll come in handy.